Thanks to Twitter and Instagram, hashtags have become a popular and easy way to summarise our thoughts. #MumGoals is one I’m seeing a lot recently, but more often than not I’m left thinking, ‘really?’
The thing about being a parent is everyone seems to have an opinion of how to be a good one- there are even books you can read- but truth is, none of us actually know what the hell we are doing, we’re just doing the best we can. The #MumGoals hashtag is demonstrative of this ambiguity, which on a bad day personified, can make you feel like a failure.
One thing we have to agree on is the emotional rollercoaster of Motherhood. Within ten seconds you can go full circle from smooching their teeny face off, to praying for the Lord to give you strength before you hit the vodka, back to smooching their face off. Between it all though, you find a second to exhale, quickly grab your B A G S to head out the door together, and just like that, *B A M*… She appears on your screen, the #MumGoal. Now if it weren’t for the fact you are so in awe of her perfectness you could marry her yourself, the alternative would be to power slam her in to ‘text-book-Mum’ Heaven. She just has it all under control- at least that’s what the twenty-something Instastories of her fabulous #OOTD she’s already uploaded this morning suggest- but, oh darling, how wrong you are, for your Goddess is a mere InstaFantasy, who in reality, is just like you or I.
There are a particular group of #MumGoals I stumble across frequently, The Fashion Mums. I assume being a lover of fashion, Instagram cleverly shows me fashionable Mum accounts *lucky me* to encourage me to keep buying. The truth is, it’s these Mums in particular I want to plead with, ‘Pleaseeee will you upload the picture of your stunning outfit post-soft play?!’ Now please don’t misunderstand me, I am the number one campaigner to promote that being a Mum should not mean altering your identity. If anything, being Havana’s Mum encourages me to hold on to ‘Fay’ as much as possible! But I also believe, we, as Mums, need to cut the bs and tell eachother, ‘Yes, I wore my white jeans to soft play, and no, I will not be doing it again!’ The message otherwise can subconsciously suggest, you, who wore the white jeans to soft play and thought you were #MumGoals but came out resembling a chimney-sweeping-snot-rag are serious #MumFail. Again, I am not at all suggesting because you are Mum you should not dress fashionably- I LOVE FASHION and try to keep myself looking decent- but I think it’s important to register that whilst the result of your getting down and dirty with the kids does not resemble a day on the runway, it does make you normal, and still worthy of #MumGoals for forgetting your white jeans should be white, and doing that finger painting anyway.
The reason Andrea and I wanted to launch the Real Mama Talk category is to reinforce that we are all normal and nothing is perfect. Instead of envying your #MumGoals who has just completed her 50,000 squats whilst holding her smiley baby, ask yourself, even though your emotional rollercoaster is going at 50,000 mph today, and not one squat has taken place in a year, do you really believe the baby sat cooing away for the whole stretch of that exercise regime? The answer is, ‘no’, and the reason we know it is no, is because even the most chilled-out babies in the World are still human, and would’ve at some point in the regime requested- no, demanded- Mum sit down and just give them a cuddle. And furthermore, if between doing the one-million-and-one things you needed to do today didn’t also allow time for you to hit the gym, don’t beat yourself up about it, you’re just like me, infact, you’re no doubt better than me. I haven’t been in years!
So before I set sail for bed, let’s turn #MumGoals in to a universal positive hashtag, and say, we all deserve it after our names. We may not parent the same, we may excel in some areas more than others, but for sure, we all have our trials and tribulations, and still manage to counteract them on a daily, and that my girls, is #MumGoals.
© Words by Fay L. Hill http://www.fayandrea.co.uk